A Birthday Note

Happy birthday, Dad. You may not be here anymore, but you are still so loved. There are some things lately that I really wish I could talk to you about, to pick your brain. The best I can do is get into your mind and think as you would’ve. We have some big life changes in progress and I’m so curious to know what you would’ve thought. Mom is great at giving advice, but she’d also be hesitant to tell us if one of our ideas is stupid.

I think you would’ve been on board, though. When we told mom our plans she quoted you, saying we’ve got to jump with both feet, meaning we have to take chances sometimes, go all in, take that leap. I saved that text. It made me tear up a bit because in one sentence she approved of our decision and told us that she thought you’d approve too.

You were always a no bullshit kind of person. I loved that you didn’t try to pretend for other people’s sake. You did what was best for you and your family. I think that is my answer. Would you approve of our life changes? Knowing how excited we are, you’d say go for it. You’d say to do what makes us happy. And we are. We are worried about how it may affect others, but in the long run, all of our decisions need to be based on what’s best for us.

It’s hard not having you around. The part that sucks the most is knowing how much you’d love these kids. I still think you’d be Ellie’s favorite person in the world. She’d love your silly songs and your loud play growls. You’d get such a kick out of who that baby you knew is growing up to be. She’s such a goof. Teddie would melt your heart with her sweetness and make you laugh with her games. Finn would chase you around playing tag, laughing the whole time. You would love them so much. But, I keep you around by singing them Puff the Magic Dragon and House at Pooh Corner just like you did for me. I talk about the pictures when we pass them and remind them who it is. They’ll know all about you, don’t worry.

I miss you a lot, Dad. Happy birthday.

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